To see a dog in your dream, indicates a skill that you have ignored or forgotten, but needs to be activated.... To see a happily barking dog in your dream, symbolises pleasures and much social activity.

My dream last night had Jack the puppy in it, he was bouncing around playing and being all happy.  He always barks when he plays and is so full of life and energy.  I don't always check what my dreams mean but sometimes they stick in your head and I think that is for a reason. 

The definition definitely rings true for me, I've been ignoring lots of things lately which I shouldn't.  I'm quite a creative person and I'm not concentrating on the things which embrace that side of me.  Instead I've been focusing on the serious things in life, well semi-serious. 

Planning Fraser's birthday has been fun, he has no idea what I've got in store and I'm looking forward to making him smile lots that weekend.  My birthday seems to be going by without significance, I'm just not fussed about it this year for some reason... very unlike me!

Anyway, I need to sort my head out and get my thoughts in order.  A little self discipline please Selina, come on!

This week needs to end soon, it's been a nightmare!  Not only did I have the tyre drama, but the day after that I was due in London at 10am for a meeting.  This means: be at work for 8:30am, train from Sutton at 9am, walk to meeting place, arrive on time.  Pootling along as I do, the Pease Pottage roundabout was a little busy but not enough to raise eyebrows.  I should have been more aware of it, considering I use that road everyday... because as I pulled onto the slip road of the motorway... BAM!  Standstill traffic, chocka block and backed right up... I wasn't going anywhere.  Long story short, 1 hour to get off the slip road, ONE HOUR!  Utter madness I tell you.  Of course I was super later for work, second day in a row.  I nearly missed my meeting and my boss did not look like a happy cookie!

This is all down to Karma I'm sure.  The other day I dreamt of a cat being in my brother's house, it wasn't doing anything much, just mooching about.  I was trying to shoo it away but in the end I knew I just had to accept it was there because it wasn't going to leave until it was ready. 

To see a cat in your dream, signifies much misfortune, treachery, and bad luck.

Could that dream definition be any more true?  Last Sunday I had a go at some guys from a 'car park car wash' service for scratching my car.  I made them refund me and was very upset by the huge scratch on my boot.  It was only when I got home and Fraser told me it was there already, well didn't I feel just the fool!  It's only become more noticeable now it's clean... I feel like I should go back to Asda and give the little man who cleaned my car back his £5.. after all he didn't do anything wrong.

Karma has made sure that I've known I was wrong.  I accept that.

Could today have started off any worse?  Really, the answer is yes, but ask me that at 8am this morning and I would have shot you a look worth a thousand profanities.

As I grabbed the herbal tea in my travel mug and looked out of the kitchen window I said out loud "you have to be shitting me?!"  The rear nearside tyre on my car was as flat as a pancake.  My first thought was about how late for work I  was going to be, my second was wondering how I managed to get a puncture, the third was how I couldn't bloody believe it.

Changing the tyre didn't phase me, I just wasn't sure that I'd be able to get the bolts undone.  But being the trooper I am I drove the car off the curb and onto flat road, then proceeded to try and loosen the wheel bolts.  I had to check that I was turning them the right way as they weren't budging (righty tighty, lefty loosey).  Yep I was turning the right way for sure.  Next I secured the wrench around the bolt, steadied myself with one hand on the car and stood on it to try and use my body weight to loosen the little buggers.  It worked a little but I was screwed for the other bolts.  I messed around trying to get the stupid things off for about 20 minutes before I admitted defeat and rung The AA.  Fortunately Lee had told me a trick to tell them I "broke down" away from home so that they came out to me, otherwise I my lack of breakdown cover would have meant I'd have been royally screwed. 

With 40 minutes to wait before the man came I thought I'd fix some brekkie.  Good idea in theory if I actually had some food I could eat, DOH!  Anyway, long story short, The AA man turned up, changed my tyre in 5 minutes and I was on my way to ATS in West Green to get it repaired.  Once that was done and on, the silly little spacer was back in my boot and I was on my merry way... 90 minutes late for work!

I then get to work and there is uproar over the new process I put in place 3 weeks ago.  So we call a "team meeting", after which things seemed better.  I think the lateness helped me be more productive which is a good thing as I've needed a kick up the arse lately.

Anyway, the evening was good and I enjoyed munching on a huge Nandos chicken salad with Halloumi cheese on the side.  It was even nicer due to the fact all I've eaten today is some minging prawn casserole thing and green beans (I left the prawn goop and just gobbled the beans) plus six brazil nuts... that's it!  

I'm now just winding down before bed and keeping my fingers crossed that Mr Fish is OK tomorrow.  I think he's poorly so I've got him in an incubation tank.  He keeps trying to swim, and does OK, but his tale is floppy and he's lost buoyancy :-(  Let's all send good fishy wishes to Mr Minnow and hope he gets better soon so he can rejoin his friends in the big tank.

The time has come for me to say enough is enough... again!  My weight is spiralling out of control and I'm not really helping myself at all.  The last few weeks I have been trying to get my routine down: eat three times a day with no grazing in-between.  This I think I have done and I'm there with the routine, however I can't do the healthy eating part without guidelines.  I need to have some constrictions when it comes to food and drink.

Alcohol is the biggest thing, all those empty calories just puts more fat on my body and makes me feel shitty.  Plus when I drink all my discipline vanishes and I'm my own worst enemy, no crisp is safe!

You know I figured out today that I've been drinking and living the unhealthy lifestyle for 10 years now.  10 years is a long time and I've done all the things I want to do where alcohol is concerned.  I've been the person who's been passed out drunk in the street, I've been the person at the party playing drinking games, I've been the person to drink the disgusting concoction of booze for a dare, I've been the person who can polish off more tequila shots than what should be possible, I've been the person to drink a bottle of wine a night, I've been the person to drink non-stop round the clock all weekend, I've been the person to try all the cocktails on TGI Friday's drinks menu, I've been the person to drink my way out of a hangover, I've been the person to do beer bong, I've been the person to drink Cherry Brandy just because that's all there was, I've been the person to sneak booze into places I really shouldn't, I've been the person to snort Vodka, I've been the person to neck multiple bottles of Stella Artois (the little ones from France).

Put all that together with drunken rages, embarrassing dances, kissing the wrong boys, kissing the right boys, midnight texts, falling out of clubs, stuffing 1lb burgers in my gob, puking in the toilet, puking everywhere but the toilet, missing college the next day, missing work the next day, showing too much flesh, saying things I shouldn't, smoking too many cigarettes, smoking too many funny fags, playing knock down ginger (past the age of 20), having a collection of traffic cones in my bedroom, and pretending to be asleep so I can carry on the party after a 'certain someone' is in bed.

All these things have happened, some a long time ago, some recently, some often!  Right now I'm thinking that to be healthy and happy is more important than carrying on with this lifestyle.  I've calmed down a lot over the last 2 years but I'm still letting myself down and not sticking to the goals I set. 

It sounds like I'm giving myself a hard time, but I'm really not.  My weight has gone up by 21lbs this year, it was at a 14lb gain but in the last 4 weeks I've managed to increase that by a further 7lbs!   Enough is enough and I need to stop now before Fraser has to wheel me out of the house.  Mum mentioned something about an under active thyroid, but having checked out the symptoms it's definitely not that, I've just not been being good!

So it's me and Arthur Agatston working together, in other words the South Beach Diet.  I've done really well on this before and the diet works (when you stick to it).  I've got to get the weight down for my health and with family history being what it is I'm doing myself no favours.  I've also got the bike and the MoS Dance DVD which I need to start doing, so come on girl, pull yourself together and do it!  I've taken before snaps with the camera and in about 6 months when I'm feeling like I've achieved my goal I will take after shots and post both on here.
 

My ears are ringing, my thighs ache, my back feels stiff, my heels hurt, my toes are sore, my face is sunburnt, my clothes are sweaty, my vocal cords are worn out and I'm knackered... but it was so worth it!

Bon Jovi are rock gods!  I have just spent the last 8 hours stood in the golden circle at Twickenham Stadium watching legends perform.  I'm sat on the sofa now with a cold beer and I can't quite believe I've been there, I've seen them and I've heard them perform their greatest hits live.  Everything including 'Living On A Prayer', 'Always', 'Bad Medicine', 'Keep The Faith' (I screamed like a little girl when they played the intro to that and I realised it was the next song), 'Wanted, Dead or Alive' and loads loads more.  They even did a couple of covers which was a nice surprise. 

Kate and I met on the train at Redders and got to Twickenham about 3pm.  After queuing in the wrong bloody queue for 15 minutes we made our way to the correct gate and into the stadium where Lisa and her buddies were already waiting in the golden circle.  It was so hot, too hot.  We sat, drank Pimms and ate ice cream, it was really rather pleasant.  The first band came on (Ivyrise) and played to a semi full stadium.  They were followed by The Feeling, who were quite good and we got more than we bargained for when the lead singer tore his pants, thank goodness he was wearing underwear.

By this point we'd stopped drinking, had wee'd ourselves dry and were ready and raring for the arrival of Bon Jovi.  The screams and cheers were deafening as Tico Torres, Richie Sambora and David Bryan walked on stage and picked up their instruments.  The time had then arrived for the one, the only, the gorgeous, Jon Bon Jovi to walk onto the stage.  The crowd went nuts.

For two and a half hours I danced, I sang, I screamed and most of all I watched.  I watched as Jon strutted his stuff on the stage with his half undone shirt showing just the right amount of chest and his perfect arse wiggling away and looking mighty fine in a nice pair of denim jeans.  He had 3 shirt changes and the last was a silvery/grey tank top which was tight enough to hug his abs and showcase his perfectly defined arms.  That man's wife is one lucky lady!

Seeing him tonight, and being so close (we were 3 rows from the front in the end) has reawakened my crush for Jon Bon Jovi, so much so that I'm bumping Ewan McGregor off of my "list" in favour of him.  After a night of watching his perfectly formed body move effortlessly around the stage, that smile and that voice.  Mmmm, Mmmmm, yummy.

Getting home was a pain, but I didn't care... I had the image of Jon Bon Jovi's bum in my mind.  Plus some random guy on the train kept us entertained, making fox impressions and telling us how he was a little late for a dinner party (it was 00:30 ish by this point, he was meant to arrive at 7pm!).  

I've finished my beer and the evening's events has suddenly caught up with me so I'm of to my bed of roses to dream sweet dreams.

That was my birthday pressie from the 'in-laws' which was nice, just the girls (me, Frankie and Claudia) went to see Dirty Dancing and enjoyed the half nakedness of burly dancer men.  The boys (Fraser, Mark, Charlie, Harry and Jacob) went to see Lord of The Rings.  I'm glad I'm a girl!

Friday was Crawley Folk Festival and I had bought tickets to see the brilliant Seth Lakeman.  Dad took Fraser and I to see him when we first moved back from the states, we loved it so much I had to repay the favour.  

I'm sure that I was born in the wrong decade, the Folk Festival was brill, lots of tents with hippy style clothes being sold (including a gorgeous pair of wellies with licorice allsorts on them) and food galore!  The vibe was a relaxed one and everybody was just there to enjoy the ambience, the music and be merry... my kind of people.

As Dad and I stood by some of the food vendors, sipping on our real ale and cider the one and only Mr Lakeman came wandering past us.  Dad stopped him and we said hello.  He wasn't the most engaging man in the world, but it was nice to be able to shake his hand and see him up close (he's quite cute!).

The gig itself was one of the best I've ever been to, just people enjoying the music and by halfway through it the whole place was up out of their seats dancing, singing and clapping.  There was no animosity in the crowd, just lots of folk love and warmth... right up my street.

Had I have planned it better Dad and I would have stayed much longer and got horribly drunk in the beer tent... still, preserves the liver I suppose.

Today I am super excited as my hat trick of social events reaches it's end.  Tonight I shall be living it up in Twickenham, having a boogie with my friend Kate in the golden circle at Bon Jovi's concert!  How awesome is that?!  I'm going to be super close to Mr Bongiovi, the hunk of rock and roll.  Did I mention it's golden circle?   Eeeek.

I'm hoping for 'Keep the Faith', that was my favourite album (and song) of theirs.  Back in 1992 when I first saw the Keep The Faith video I was young, but old enough to know a fox when I saw one.  Jon Bongiovi has always kept his soft spot with me, and the fact he can sing is a bonus (I'm a sucker for a cute guy with a gorgeous singing voice).  Seeing Bon Jovi is going to be awesome, and the fact its golden circle and with Kate is all the better.  She's a hoot and I couldn't think of a better or more energetic person to be singing and dancing with.

Thank goodness I've taken a long weekend, otherwise I'd be pooped!