To see a dog in your dream, indicates a skill that you have ignored or forgotten, but needs to be activated.... To see a happily barking dog in your dream, symbolises pleasures and much social activity.

My dream last night had Jack the puppy in it, he was bouncing around playing and being all happy.  He always barks when he plays and is so full of life and energy.  I don't always check what my dreams mean but sometimes they stick in your head and I think that is for a reason. 

The definition definitely rings true for me, I've been ignoring lots of things lately which I shouldn't.  I'm quite a creative person and I'm not concentrating on the things which embrace that side of me.  Instead I've been focusing on the serious things in life, well semi-serious. 

Planning Fraser's birthday has been fun, he has no idea what I've got in store and I'm looking forward to making him smile lots that weekend.  My birthday seems to be going by without significance, I'm just not fussed about it this year for some reason... very unlike me!

Anyway, I need to sort my head out and get my thoughts in order.  A little self discipline please Selina, come on!

This week needs to end soon, it's been a nightmare!  Not only did I have the tyre drama, but the day after that I was due in London at 10am for a meeting.  This means: be at work for 8:30am, train from Sutton at 9am, walk to meeting place, arrive on time.  Pootling along as I do, the Pease Pottage roundabout was a little busy but not enough to raise eyebrows.  I should have been more aware of it, considering I use that road everyday... because as I pulled onto the slip road of the motorway... BAM!  Standstill traffic, chocka block and backed right up... I wasn't going anywhere.  Long story short, 1 hour to get off the slip road, ONE HOUR!  Utter madness I tell you.  Of course I was super later for work, second day in a row.  I nearly missed my meeting and my boss did not look like a happy cookie!

This is all down to Karma I'm sure.  The other day I dreamt of a cat being in my brother's house, it wasn't doing anything much, just mooching about.  I was trying to shoo it away but in the end I knew I just had to accept it was there because it wasn't going to leave until it was ready. 

To see a cat in your dream, signifies much misfortune, treachery, and bad luck.

Could that dream definition be any more true?  Last Sunday I had a go at some guys from a 'car park car wash' service for scratching my car.  I made them refund me and was very upset by the huge scratch on my boot.  It was only when I got home and Fraser told me it was there already, well didn't I feel just the fool!  It's only become more noticeable now it's clean... I feel like I should go back to Asda and give the little man who cleaned my car back his £5.. after all he didn't do anything wrong.

Karma has made sure that I've known I was wrong.  I accept that.

Could today have started off any worse?  Really, the answer is yes, but ask me that at 8am this morning and I would have shot you a look worth a thousand profanities.

As I grabbed the herbal tea in my travel mug and looked out of the kitchen window I said out loud "you have to be shitting me?!"  The rear nearside tyre on my car was as flat as a pancake.  My first thought was about how late for work I  was going to be, my second was wondering how I managed to get a puncture, the third was how I couldn't bloody believe it.

Changing the tyre didn't phase me, I just wasn't sure that I'd be able to get the bolts undone.  But being the trooper I am I drove the car off the curb and onto flat road, then proceeded to try and loosen the wheel bolts.  I had to check that I was turning them the right way as they weren't budging (righty tighty, lefty loosey).  Yep I was turning the right way for sure.  Next I secured the wrench around the bolt, steadied myself with one hand on the car and stood on it to try and use my body weight to loosen the little buggers.  It worked a little but I was screwed for the other bolts.  I messed around trying to get the stupid things off for about 20 minutes before I admitted defeat and rung The AA.  Fortunately Lee had told me a trick to tell them I "broke down" away from home so that they came out to me, otherwise I my lack of breakdown cover would have meant I'd have been royally screwed. 

With 40 minutes to wait before the man came I thought I'd fix some brekkie.  Good idea in theory if I actually had some food I could eat, DOH!  Anyway, long story short, The AA man turned up, changed my tyre in 5 minutes and I was on my way to ATS in West Green to get it repaired.  Once that was done and on, the silly little spacer was back in my boot and I was on my merry way... 90 minutes late for work!

I then get to work and there is uproar over the new process I put in place 3 weeks ago.  So we call a "team meeting", after which things seemed better.  I think the lateness helped me be more productive which is a good thing as I've needed a kick up the arse lately.

Anyway, the evening was good and I enjoyed munching on a huge Nandos chicken salad with Halloumi cheese on the side.  It was even nicer due to the fact all I've eaten today is some minging prawn casserole thing and green beans (I left the prawn goop and just gobbled the beans) plus six brazil nuts... that's it!  

I'm now just winding down before bed and keeping my fingers crossed that Mr Fish is OK tomorrow.  I think he's poorly so I've got him in an incubation tank.  He keeps trying to swim, and does OK, but his tale is floppy and he's lost buoyancy :-(  Let's all send good fishy wishes to Mr Minnow and hope he gets better soon so he can rejoin his friends in the big tank.

Other drivers really piss me off.  Today has been a day for utter stupidity on the roads, starting from first thing this morning.  I normally join the M23 on my route to work and there are 3 lanes which direct the traffic in the appropriate direction.  The left hand has a left arrow, the middle lane a straight arrow and the right lane... wait for it... a right arrow!  You'd think it'd be easy to follow the road markings, wouldn't you?

 
It appears to be more difficult than one would assume, people are constantly in the wrong lane and always end up cutting in ahead or behind me.  There isn't even a queue of traffic so it's not like they're doing a cheeky sneak in (I mean we all do that from time to time don't we)

When I arrived in Redders I was doing the routine drive up and down Garlands Road looking for a free space, when some dappy moo just pulled her parked car out in front of me!  Of course I got straight on the horn and beeped her into next week, whilst slamming on the brakes and mounting the curb to avoid smashing straight into her. 

Oblivious, absolutely oblivious.  This girl drove down to the junction and indicated to turn, I couldn't believe she didn't hear me beep, didn't see me nearly crash because of her, and failed to even react.  Now I don't normally act out road rage but this girl needed warning that she's a liability with a license!

'Beep beep' I thought I'd try again to get her attention, this time she heard me... halleluiah!  I did the charades signalling thing and mouthed to her "wind your window down".   She looked at me with no clue as to why I'd taken the trouble to get her attention.  "Hun, you just pulled straight out in front of me" I told her, "oh my god I'm so sorry, I didn't see you!" she replied, shocked.  Hmm, evidently, I muttered under my breath, "please be careful in the future, I came within inches of crashing straight into the side of your car.  Had I of been a dustbin truck or one of those works lorries I'd hate to imagine the alternative result" I calmly tried to instill some sense into her.  "You're right, I'm so sorry, I really didn't look" she continued.  "Did you not hear me beeping at all?" replied me, surprised.  "No, not at all" she said, it was at that point I realised that there wasn't much between the ears and I think I'd made my subtle point. "cool, just promise me you'll check your side mirror and blind spot next time.  Have a good day" and I bid my dappy driver farewell.

See, not all road stupidity needs to be handled with rage, but I did feel it important to let her know that she'd come within milliseconds of causing a crash.  Had she have pulled out any later and my car got damaged I may not have been so polite, lol.

Although saying that when the guy smashed into me driving down the A23 I was very calm and wanted to make sure he was fine.  One thing I've learned about myself is in times of shock I am remarkably calm.

On the way to the doctors today though I did moan pretty much the entire journey as people were being idiots left, right and centre (pun intended!).  Maybe it was me being nervous about the routine, 3 yearly, check-up all woman have to have (I bloody hate them!) or maybe I'm just tired.  Fraser did comment that I was being a miserable cow and not to worry about other idiot drivers.  As he finished that sentence some bloke cut me up...

Today was awesome, even more so because it was for no particular reason.  Things are finally starting to look up and the Selbel is even being given the opportunity to present myself, very exciting. 

 

After my recent spout of applications I have about 4 live leads, which at the moment is showing a 50% success rate.  They are all brilliant opportunities and I'm so excited at the prospects that lay ahead.  Tomorrow should hold more news for me and so I'm going to keep fingers crossed that this recent spate of positive response is because of me... although the new financial year is probably playing a part!

I even had a good day with the office hormone, surprisingly enough.  It's amazing to find how well you can get on with someone when they're not acting like an arse!  

To celebrate my happy Tuesday I decided to embrace my inner pop princess (you know it's in there somewhere Fletch!) and put on my iPod playlist '90's Pop'.  With the window rolled down, pedal to the metal and the open A217 ahead of me I pumped tunes from my speakers and let the wind caress my hair.  This felt amazing, so amazing that when I pulled up to the lights I completely forgot to check myself and protect the car cred... see I was blasting 'Spice Girls - Holler' at the time and a lot of people started doing up their windows!  Whoops, lol.

Still who cares, the SG are alright.  Fair enough Holler wasn't their best song but when you're in that 90's mood and have a need for cheese, they go down quite well.  Feeling I should redeem myself a little I promptly switched to 'Gin Blossoms - Follow You Down' followed by 'Pearl Jam - Even Flow' (on a different playlist of course) so that at least the next lot of traffic would think I was hip and cool.  Unless of course they are like Gin what?  Pearl who? and then all is lost on them anyway! 

I really just don't understand people sometimes.  Today has been one of those days (of course it has, it's me isn't it) I've been a little grumpy and perhaps I'm feeling like a bear with a sore head because, well... I have a sore head. 

Why is it that people don't understand the concept of sharing a road?  On my way home from work tonight I came off the Gatwick bypass towards the M23 and as I'm driving off the slip road some chump in an SUV just sat at a constant speed blocking me from merging onto the road, despite it being a dual carriageway and there being nothing in the second lane.  As I rapidly ran out of slip road I beeped my horn and just had to carry on merging or plough into the crash barrier.  The idiot then proceeded to rant and rave at me through the windscreen.  It's his fault he doesn't know how to be a considerate driver, so why does he get irate at me?  Especially if I can't hear him, the bloody burk!

So I continue on my journey and I'm now on the M23 driving home.  As I signal to move out of the middle lane into the fast lane I wait for a car to pass me and then I merge into the flow of traffic.  As I commit to the manoeuvre I can see in my rear view the guy, who is now behind me, get very hot and bothered by this.  Instead of just letting me in he speeds up and tries to close the gap before I have completely switched lanes.  WHAT IS THE POINT?  He again is ranting and raving at me and I just look at him through the mirror, point to my eye and mouth the words "fucking look next time, dick".  Of course he had a huge case of what I call the "oh no you don't" syndrome.  This is when, rather than be a considerate driver, you're the kind of driver that is just out for him/herself and think "oh no you don't" when someone attempts to be 1 car in front... I mean how dare they right?  How dare they set me back on my journey by one whole car length!  The audacity....  I had to put up with him driving right up my arse for about a mile after that, loser.

Feeling that more wine is required for this evening I popped into Iceland located at the cultural Mecca that is Broadfield Barton.  Whilst in the queue I'm fixated on the two blokes in front of me talking to each other like they can barely scrap half a brain cell between them.  Swearing and talking about going home and getting stoned I couldn't help but think it was sad and ignorant of them to have this discussion in the queue.  It was sad because they clearly have nothing else going on in their lives and it was so painfully obvious that they are happy to just exist as they are.  They aren't aspiring to be more, do more or see more.  Their life revolves around being with like minded people, smoking "gear", getting drunk on cheap booze and eating frozen pizzas & micro chips.  How did I come to this conclusion about two strangers after only listening to them in the queue at Iceland?  Truth is I didn't, I'm just being judgmental (and yes I know, pot, kettle black).  But there is a stereotype of a sort of person and I got to thinking about whether that person is truly happy as they are, or do they just not realise that there can be so much more to life?  It's not because they get stoned, or because they shop in Iceland, or because they're a bit thick.  It's because they may think that this is as good as it gets.

It was ignorant because they held no regard for the little boy and his father stood behind them as the f-words flew out of their mouth like water. 

I've come across a few people over the last few months who I want to ask "what are you doing?!".  People who are living their lives in the most ridiculous of situations.  Married couples, who don't talk, don't sleep in the same room, live separate lives, but won't divorce.  People who are working jobs they hate, with people they despise, but won't leave.  Why?  For what reason are you living your life being unhappy for?  Especially if you've spent the last 10, 15, 20 years living in a cycle of unfulfilled unhappiness, it's insane!  I'd rather be alone and broke, but happy and feel like I'm truly living my life, than settle.  It's just not healthy at all, I don't get people sometimes, I really don't...