Loving this song right now!  Maybe if all goes to pot I could change my career to be a rockstar, or an extra in a video like this... see those people walking down the street in the background, that could be me!   Nickelback - Rockstar...

This morning was more emotional than I had anticipated. After a smooth journey to Hackbridge (a miracle at 8:30am ) I arrived at SJB with mixed feelings about picking up and seeing my poor little Citroen. 

Most people don’t form an emotional attachment with their car, but I suppose because I’ve owned so few (many of the cars I’ve driven have been other peoples) and because I associate memories a lot, it’s sad for me when they go. These circumstances were totally alien to me though, normally I wave bye bye to my little car and comfort myself that they’ve gone to good homes. I’ve never had to deal with recovering a stolen vehicle, until now.

Getting the car released nearly cost me; because I have transferred my insurance from the Citroen to the Nissan I am no longer insured on the Citroen.  In order to be able to take the car away I need to have the log book, ID and insurance.  Temporary insurance is invalidated if you intend to cover yourself for the purpose of releasing an impounded vehicle.  What a pickle.  SJB would crush the car for me, at a charge of £65 or I could trailer it off.  After much faffing I was put in touch with 'All Cars Breakers Yard' in Wallington, they said they'd collect my car for free and I just sign it over to them for scrap.  Done deal.

They released the car back to me with no hitches, so at least that went smoothly as it was a nightmare to try and organise!  Larry (the breakers yard man) came over to my new Nissan and filled in all the details required on the V5 and my old Citroen ZX was now officially his.

I followed his big tow truck through the security gates and into the scrap yard itself and waited for my car to be pulled from the rubble (well that’s how it felt) by a fork lift truck. It was sandwiched in between lots of cars that had clearly been written off, some were going rusty, and others had their front ends all smashed in. To watch ‘The Jolly Motor’ emerging was very sad, it looked so small and bruised. I know, I know, it’s only a car… but it’s my car and those gits stole it from me and ruined it!

The guys from SJB warned me that it smelt horrendous, the guy who was steering it jumped out the driver’s side and gasped for breath. I walked up to the car and thought I was going to cry there and then.

“ARSEHOLES!” I couldn’t help myself, they had stripped my poor little car bare. There were cans of White Lightening or Special Brew all over the place, they’d ripped the entire steering column casing off, yanked out every wire and exposed the fuse box. The ignition barrel was a mess. In the back they’d obviously tried to put the back seats back up so there must have been more than 2 of the little wankers. The smell of diesel was overpowering to say the least; they had left their two white containers in the back and the remains of their loot had spilled over all my back seats. The glove box and all my car documentation (past MOT certificates, garage invoices etc.) had been gone through and dumped on the floor. All my work business cards were strewn across the foot well of the driver’s side and my toiletry bag (which contained on-the-go moisturiser, toothpaste, hair clips, comb, etc) had been rifled through and spilled everywhere.

Fortunately my spare house keys were still in the car, along with my blue boots (although they are filthy) and my umbrella. They left my 'car box' too, but I haven’t gone through that yet. One of my hopes was that my mobile hands free kit and iTrip were still in the car, but they’ve helped themselves to that too. Why would they possible want my hands free? It only fits my phone and is just a pair of headphones with a mic attached; it’s useless to anybody else, unless they also own a Samsung E370?! The iTrip I’m gutted about, I bought that in America and we used it in our old car. The low-life’s who stole it probably don’t even own an iPod!

It makes me so angry to see what they’ve done to my poor little car and to me. It’s apparent that they have absolutely no respect for other people, the law or just general society!  They ripped through my car, helped themselves to my stuff, ruined the car beyond repair, violated my rights, pawed my belongings and ran their grubby little fingers through all my possessions. I hate them, and hope they are caught!

The men at the recovery place could see how upset I was by the mess and they were so sweet.  They rallied round to help me sift through the debris to pick out my stuff and then they walked me to my new car and put the box in the back.  Larry asked me if I was ok and ready for him to take the car away, I handed him the keys.  As he winced it up onto the back of his trailer I got into my new car, called Fraser and cried.

This weekend has been just what I needed in order to feel better.  Friday I went to pick up my brand new car and it's so pretty!  I love it.  The ability to just jump in and go has been missed.  Not to dismiss the positive points about public transport, because there are many, I just don't enjoy the extra time on my journey and prefer the comfort of my car. 

All weekend I've been cooing over it, and the best thing is discovering new and cool little extras.  For example I had no idea it was keyless, that's right don't even need to put a key in the ignition, just turn the knob and I'm away!  Also there's massive storage underneath the passenger seat and in the glove box, it's amazing.  I can also program in reminders such as birthdays into the on board computer.  Yes, I'm easy to please. 

Saturday Fraser stayed out and so for the first time I had the house to myself.  Full advantage was taken and I poured myself lots of wine, made nachos, out a conditioning pack on my hair, watched a movie, had a bubble bath and tinkered on the laptop... it was heaven!

Tomorrow I'm going to pick up my old car :-( and say goodbye to it forever.  It's been such a palaver to get it released from the pound so it's having to go to a new home, a breakers yard down the road from SJB. 

For some reason I am suffering with tiredness recently. It feels like I’ve been up half the night, and trust me I know that feeling well! When I’m sat at my desk I don’t know if I am able to stay awake for much longer. The temptation to go upstairs and have a snooze is almost too much; I daren’t though as I’d sleep for about 4 hours.

I’ve not been doing anything particularly strenuous. Yes sorting the house out (still!) is taking up some of my time, but then so is sitting on the couch watching TV! I go to bed at about 11ish and average 7-8 hours a night and sleep like a log the entire night through. There’s really no explanation for my sudden fatigue.

Perhaps it’s being at work that’s doing it, I seem fine at home. I think it could be a combination of boredom, stress and not enough fresh air. The environment I work in is very stuffy and dark. Blinds are pulled down 90% of the time as it causes glare on the screens, the windows don’t open, the lighting is soft, and there are a lot of homey features to the place. All in all that sounds nice right? Well it is, certainly not the worst conditions to work in, but the trouble is it’s making me so sleepy I can’t be productive.

Another alternative could be the change in my transport arrangements. Trains always make me want to nap, the rocking motion and the repetitive noise of the wheels going along the track. Maybe taking two trains a day in order to get to and from work is wearing me out.

Gosh to listen to me you’d think I was a right feeble mess, I’m not I’m quite hardy normally. Some people would read this and think “what’s she moaning about?” and ok, granted, I don’t have kids waking me up all through the night, I don’t have to travel that far to work really, or I could be sat in the cold somewhere or working outside all day. But I’m bloody knackered and a tired Selina is an unhappy Selina and that’s a bad day for everybody!

YES!  It's official, I now own 2 cars (for the first time in my life).  Fair enough, one of them is sat in a secure Police compound with it's wires hanging everywhere and I can't actually get to it... and the other one is still at the garage I purchased it from getting cleaned and serviced ready for me... but I still own both! :-)

After 2 days of public transport (yuk!) I went to a garage in Sayers Common yesterday to look at a Citroen C3 (another one) which looked beautiful in the pictures and it had a fair price tag too.  As we pulled up and turned into the forecourt I saw her sat there in all her glory, bright, noticeable and pretty (just like moi!).

The car salesman walked across the forecourt to greet a very excited me and also to open the car and allow me to peek inside.  As I walked closer to the car my heart sank, it was covered in tiny scratches, not the kind that would polish out either!  I ran my hand across them and said to the salesman "it's scratched quite a lot" continuing to cast my eye over the paintwork.  He looked at me in that 'oh god, she's a picky one' kind of way and replied with the most ridiculous explanation in history. According to him "that's the trouble with cars that need a key to get in, they get scratched"... hmmm, I've never scratched up my car by using the key, and I'm sure that the other 99% of car owners (who too, have keys) have either!

Regardless of that it was quite badly damaged inside too, the boot interior looked like someone had been locked in and tried to claw their way out with a bread knife!  The nail in the coffin was seeing water droplets on the inside of the rear windscreen.  When questioned about it the salesman told me it was from the valet the car had earlier, which wasn't left to dry properly.  Hmmm, could be true but I'm not going to spend £5000 on a car which 'could' be a crap heap!

Luckily for me there was a red Citroen C2 parked next to it, and a Nissan Micra in "Techno Grey" (...big Fish, little fish, cardboard box) both of which were as impressive as the C3 was disappointing.  Both were taken for a little spin down the road and I knew in myself that it was going to be a toss up between the two.  In the end I chose the Nissan, for a few reasons: