I am so relaxed!  This entire holiday has consisted of me sleeping, drinking, eating and sunbathing.  Fraser still hasn't got his body clock in order and has woken up at about 4am every morning (good job I'm a heavy sleeper!).

I'm still finding my sea legs, it depends on the ship to how long it takes me.  Normally I'm ok by about this point but for some reason I can't get stabilised on this ship, maybe because it's a little smaller?

We've just got up at 6am and walked to the back of the ship where we watched the sunrise as the ship pulled into Belize.  Today we're off to go cave tubing, which is going to be absolutely wicked!  We went last year and so know what to expect this time around.

The diet is also out the window a little. I'm trying to be good but it's hard with so much temptation around!  Fraser and I got absolutely smashed on Mimosas the other lunchtime and I had to scoff loads and loads of bread, sometimes when you've had to much plonk a salad just doesn't cut it!

We're off to Mexico tomorrow and then Great Stirrup Cay on Friday.  I'm looking forward to having another week in FL, lots of shopping and goodies.  Plus with $1000 coming to me via tax return should make it all the sweeter!

As I type (on the slowest internet connection in the world!) behind me is a ceiling to floor window and outside nothing but sea, oh and the ships deck!  I'm trying to file my US taxes for January last year and I hope it all goes through ok as it means about $1000 for me, which would make very nice spending money for the last week of my hols.

So far everything has been amazing.  The flight was quite boring (as flights often are), the first night was tiring and the drive down to Miami tedious, but now we're on board the ship, had a few glasses of wine and set sail I'm really relaxed and looking forward to enjoying the pants off of this holiday!

One of my cases hasn't turned up yet though, but that's my fault.  I tried to sneak a mahoosive bottle of wine onto the ship and they saw in when they scanned my case.  It has been seized by the ships security and I have to collect it from them , lol DOH!

Blogs will be scarce over the next couple of weeks but just so you can keep up with where I am in the world, tomorrow is sailing at sea all day, Monday in Honduras, Tuesday in Belize (cave tubing) and Wednesday in Cozumel.  I will try and blog before then.

For now though I'm going to finish my glass of wine and taxes, collect my luggage and then go get changed for dinner!

At the time of writing this I have officially been back from the states for 11 months, 10 days, 8 hours and 43 minutes.  Tomorrow I return...

It will be very weird to say the least, the time I spent in the US has been the best of my life to date.  Nothing else I have done within my 25 years on this planet have topped living there.  Not even buying the house!  Maybe I'm looking back at everything with rose tinted glasses, but I was so relaxed and happy.  But I have to remember why I chose to move back home.

It's tax return time at the moment and so we'll be heading to our old place of work to pick up our W2.  I am actually really excited at taking that drive again, down International Drive South, across onto Osceola Parkway, right past the Pop Century resort, left onto Buena Vista Drive and then right at the Hess garage onto Epcot Resorts Boulevard!  Man, everyday we did that drive and although I tried to soak it in as much as possible, I couldn't have taken in enough.
Whilst there I should really pop in and see all my Picabu ladies and the Fountain peeps, although the hotel is probably super busy and coming at shift-over time will be the worst time possible!

This holiday (vacation) cannot come at a better time.  To be able to lay on the deck, sipping a Margarita and be surrounded by the blue sea is all I want in life.  Going back to Honduras will be amazing too, last time I slept too much on the beach, this time I want to snorkel for hours!  

No doubt when I'm there I will feel homesick, want to move back and chat to people there about ways to get a visa. Living in the real world I've just bought a house and have ties here now.  Going back in time does not solve problems and it will not make me happy.  The one thing I do need to do though is consider my future and put in place a plan to be where I want to be by the end of 2008.

This year is my year and I will make the most of it! 

Like many people across the world I am both shocked and saddened to hear about the death of Heath Ledger. Although to be honest I was never a major fan of his work it’s not so much the loss of a Hollywood actor which has shaken me, it’s more the realisation of my own mortality and of those around me.

In my life I’ve been incredibly fortunate to never have suffered any major loss. Bereavement is something I am unfamiliar with. I’ve never attended a funeral. Due to this it is easy to think to myself that it will never happen to me, I will never have to experience the pain and suffering that comes from losing someone you love. The idea I cannot even comprehend.

Heath Ledger was only 28 years old, he had a 2 year old daughter and was building a career. Strip away the glitz and glamour and you are left with a man taken in the prime of his life. Monday was the start of the week for him, like it was for us all, he probably went about his business in his usual manner, thought about the week ahead, made future plans, accepted an invitation, thought about dinner, and made arrangements for Tuesday. Little did he know that by 3:30pm on Tuesday afternoon he would be dead and the world news would be dominated with the sad story that his life had ended.

It’s not only celebrity deaths that have this affect on my thoughts. There have been lots of people who I went to school with that have met an unexpected end and their life cut short. In the news at the moment is the trial for the murder of Kennie Williams. Kennie was in my year at school and we shared many a chat, lesson, lunch break. He was a good looking bloke, funny and I remember being quite fond of him. A few years after leaving school I learnt through the grapevine that he was quite heavily into drugs and saw him one day out and about and hardly recognised him. From the well built, tall and handsome boy from school I saw a thin, greasy haired and spotty man who was a shadow of his former self. I remember thinking it was a shame that he’d chosen that path and hoped he sorted himself out and then thought no more about it. That was until I read in the newspaper that Kennie Williams, 25 from Reigate had been murdered on his doorstep. “Surely that’s not the same Kennie Williams?” as I checked the picture. But sure enough it was. So sad, whatever he was into he did not deserve to have his life taken from him and I’m glad that the perpetrators have received life!

Another shocking story was of Seph Lawrence who was in my form for a while at school. He was quite troubled and eventually left Hazelwick. Many people were mean to Seph and he obviously felt threatened/angry about the treatment he received from other pupils as he’d often retaliate by spitting or jeering back at people. This was often met with laughter. Again, once we all left school I never gave much thought to Seph until I’d read in the newspaper that he’d been murdered, in Goffs Park! I used to walk through Goffs Park on my way to and from work and only lived/worked less than a mile from the scene! It’s so sad that someone took his life, especially after it appears Seph had made a happy life for himself. Both murderers were found guilty and given life.

Whenever you hear of news that someone young had died it’s a stark reminder that all our days are numbered and so are the days of those around us. We need to remember this always, in the back of our minds, and perhaps use it to realise that life is too short to waste days. It’s too short to hold grudges and spit out angry words and not retract things we didn’t mean. It’s too short to be walking around like we own our life. None of us own our lives, we are all just borrowing the time to live them.

Heathcliff Ledger – (April 4, 1979 – January 22, 2008)

Rest In Peace

Eeek, so Boss read my blog from Friday (and probably subscribed so will be reading this now, lol).    Well I had to expect it, I knew that both Kate and Adnan read my blog and I knew that Kate would be worried and forward it to boss (which she did, lol).  I'm not one to say something behind closed doors and then cower with fear when they are opened.  Nope, my opinion and feelings are just that and I'm only human. 

Things might get better, we had a wee chat over email today but I've got to still think long and hard about my future and do what's best for me, ultimately.  I'm not saying that I'm going to do anything drastic, but it's good to consider all your options.  I said to Kate over Facebook that it's not only what makes me happy, it's what's best for the company too, maybe I'm not the right person for the job after all? 

Coming back from America has been a real culture shock for me and I was so relaxed and happy out there.  Before I left I was in a job where I felt unappreciated, lost, underpaid, and at the bottom of the food chain.  That led me to be very snappy, impatient, moody, and stressed out.  A far cry from what I discovered of me in the USA.  Deep down I really am quite chilled, I don't get annoyed with other drivers on the road, I don't get annoyed waiting in queues, I don't care if someone cuts me up or bumps into me.  After all, it's their karma.  But I've also realised that is only me when I'm happy and contented.  When I'm not I'm all wound up like a tight coil.

This holiday cannot come soon enough for me!  Perhaps it being back in Blighty that's made me this way, after all we're hardly the most relaxed and easy going bunch of people!  No, it's me who makes my own destiny and my own sanctuary.  I need a creative outlet, room to feel free, I'm ambitious with dreams and aspirations of going far in life.  We all choose our path, sometimes we stray, sometimes we make wrong decisions.  Life is short and we can't spend it living in doubt or weighing up the options.

If you're not happy, don't moan, change it.  If you have something to say, don't sit on it, say it.  Ironically one of my favourite ads on the TV at the moment is for Monster.co.uk, lol.  I wasn't sure what it was about at first, everyone getting up out of their beds, running to the top of some hill...  I won't say anymore, you can watch for yourself.