SATC (or Sex and The City) is on the menu tonight and I cannot wait! I’m having dinner with some girlfriends and will be schnaffling a huge bag of Opal Fruits during the movie. As the day moves on I’m feeling more and more excited!

Yesterday I entered that Sex and They City competition I was harping on about in a previous post. It was featured in the June edition of Glamour magazine, although I’m all clappy and happy I’ve entered, I don’t think I’ll win! Although it would be nice to have a glam night up in London with £200 in vouchers, plus my own column in Glamour and a 1 or 2 week internship! I’ve applied and done what I could, all I have to now is forgot about it and then be pleasantly surprised if I hear back.

I’m not going to share my entry with you, not until the closing date has gone past anyway! I don’t want any sneaky sneakers out there copying my ideas, lol. I’ve tried to think ‘outside the box’ a little bit, well as much as I can in 150 words with the opening line already set… “”Galaxy was on my mind when…” Who knows what the judges are after!

This week has been tougher at work, I’m feeling like the settling in phase has past now and I’m due to start showing some progress and changes. It’s also harder to have been getting up really early, by Friday I’m so pooped! Still, lots of lay-ins this weekend for me!

I’m debating about whether to go to Brighton on Saturday night for a friends birthday drinks do, I want to go but a) haven’t really got the money and b) don’t know if I want to go faff with the trains. If I drive then there is no point in going! I’m tempted to spend the evening with a bottle of wine and making a start on packing the Avon catalogues up.

Oh the fabulous life I lead…

Police believe on Tuesday morning, January 24, Jennifer showered and got ready for work. However, she never made it to her job at Westgate Resorts where she manages the financial department which oversees timeshares.  Joyce Kesse, Jennifer s mother, says her daughter is never late for work.  "She's ambitious and dedicated to her career.  When I got the call from her employer that she didn't show for work, I knew something was wrong. That was the beginning of this hellish nightmare."

The above is an excerpt taken from the Jennifer Kesse website set up by her parents to raise awareness of her abduction and help bring Jennifer home!

Why are you so interested in this missing Floridian woman?

After having looked at information on jenniferkesse.com seeing her photos, learning of the events of that morning on January 24th 2006 and gaining a small insight into the world of this beautiful stranger I felt like I was reading the script of a movie.  But this is no movie, this horrendous ordeal is really happening to someone, to a family, to an entire community.  There's no pausing, there's no ending, it's just the worst horror that is being playing continuously forever and ever and Jennifer Kesse's friends and family are stuck on the couch.  The day this ends is the day Jennifer is found.  It's been 837 days so far, let's work together to stop this count getting any higher.

Below are some photographs of Jennifer's car, a 2004 black Chevy Malibu.  It was found at the Huntington on the Green apartments at Americana and Texas on Thursday 26th January 2006.  For those two days someone must have known who was driving this car, did someone you know suddenly have access to a black vehicle they hadn't used before? 

 
1-800-423-TIPS

What Can I Do To Help?

Pass this on to everyone you know, and ensure they in turn pass it on.  Jennifer's parents tirelessly keep up the awareness of her abduction, her case is even being featured on CBS' 48 Hours on Saturday 14th June (see local listings for times - US only).  Someone, somewhere, holds the key to Jennifer's disappearance.  That information, however insignificant you may think it is, could be the piece of the puzzle which brings the whole picture together.  Jennifer Kesse had a wonderful life, a family who love her and a promising career, help bring her back to where she belongs.  End this hellish nightmare for Jennifer, end it for her family and friends.  Keep passing this round, no matter where you are in the world, the more people that are reached the more awareness for Jennifer's case.  Together we will find Jennifer.

Another excerpt from jenniferkesse.com:  Please also be aware of Jennifer’s distinguishing marks; her Cleft Chin, Green eyes which sometime can be Blue, a chicken pox mark next to her right eye, surgery scar on her inner left elbow, her poor eyesight as well as now her 4 leaf glover tattoo. We don’t think at this point Jennifer will look like the pictures we all see and distribute, so we ask to be aware of the things which most likely won’t change on her physically.

 HELP BRING JENNIFER HOME!  WWW.JENNIFERKESSE.COM 

1-800-423-TIPS

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All alone in the dark
No walls or windows
Trying hard to define
Heaven from hell
Standing out in the rain
With just one shadow
Nothing to see or believe
Beyond myself
See my life going by
Each moment I am alive
I keep reaching out, holding on, hoping
Somewhere in my life
There's one light burning
I feel it like my heart beating inside
Somewhere in the night
There's one light burning
All alone with my fears
No words are spoken
A story yet to be told
Locked in my mind
Hope is somewhere ahead
Shining brightly
But the past is always following close behind
See my life going by, each moment I am alive
I keep reaching out, holding on, hoping
Somewhere in my life
There's one light burning
I feel it like my heart beating inside
Somewhere in the night
There's one light burning
Somewhere in my life
There's one light burning
I feel it like my heart beating inside
Somewhere in the night
There's one light burning
Leading the way, leading the way

Today I feel liberated.  Following a rather dull bank holiday weekend (apart from Saturday) work was not what I felt like doing with my Tuesday, but it was OK.  Time seems to go really quickly when I'm there (although saying that has probably jinxed it now) which is probably due to the fact I'm busy.

I had a few phone calls from my old boss too, he was having problems obtaining a login for something... hmmm, my problem?  Err no!  But me being me I answered his call, talked him through it and tried my best to help.  The saying "give them an inch, and they'll take a mile" is so true!  By me answering his pleas and helping out on the phone, twice, I then got bombarded with text messages asking me to call him straight back, to which I replied "no, I'm super busy".  Feeling obliged to help still though I emailed him and pointed out that I can't keep nipping out to use the phone, but asked him what's up anyway.  He replied with a rather shitty "there are no notes, I can't get in and there is no record of this login anywhere.  That's what's up" (something like that anyway).  It was at that point that I thought to myself "hold on a second buster, I don't even work for you anymore!" and I emailed back just asking if he'd actually followed my advice on how to get in.  I assume he's frustrated but I did my best to help, and I'm sure that James (the stain) was his usual unhelpful self.  Still none of it is my bloody problem anymore and I feel like I'm only contacted when something is needed from me!

The lightning bolt that hit me today though was immense.  As I sat in the cafeteria reading my magazine, eating my cheese and spring onion rolls I saw a competition which had me written all over it.  It's a writing competition where the winner gets to have a fancy night out in London (nice but not what I'm in it for) and your own column plus an internship at a major UK magazine.  

Now I'm under no illusions, the chances of me winning are slim.  But it has made me think that I should look to enter more competitions.  Not only will that help build a portfolio (especially if I win or come runner-up) but it's also great practise!  So this will be my first one and if you're lucky, and it's not too awful, I'll post my entry on Triond.

Walking back to my car after work I took a deep breath and soaked in the rained on Pine trees.  Life feels good at the moment, really really good.  For once I'm on the up and things are moving slowly in the right direction.  This process of taking baby steps is working, slowly but surely my life is changing for the better and I'm loving it! 

I've just spent the last 30 minutes with an open blog wondering what the hell to write.  I normally just blurt out whatever is in my head, but having just read my 'feature' on manvsblog I'm acutely aware that a few people reading this will be first time visitors and I suddenly felt the pressure to write a compelling piece that would make people think "ooo, yeah, see what Scott means".

The trouble with that is the more I tried to force a good blog out of myself, the more fake it sounded and the less comfortable I was.  So I have reverted back to my usual head emptying technic.

This bank holiday weekend has been very relaxing and made me realise how much I just don't want to work!  Actually let me clarify, I want to work but in my own time, to my own schedule and for myself.  Having just joined the big corporate environment again it's easy to feel like a number and not an individual.  So many people work just simply to make ends meet, but I want to work because I love what I do. 

My intention for this long weekend was to write and get moving again on my current projects (which when described to a select few have got a good reception) but life just gets in the way.  Sunday I had to force myself through a hangover to do the washing up, dust and hoover, change the bed sheets, wash the kitchen and bathroom mats, go to the supermarket, make a Tiramisu, cook dinner, then chill out with Fraser whilst watching 'Into The Blue'.   Today I've got to go into town, upgrade my mobile phone, the in-laws are coming over and then I'll probably be on wind down ready to return to work tomorrow.  Where in all that will I find the time to get in the zone and be creative? 

I wish I had a private space I could go to, preferably a log cabin surrounded by big tall trees with a big open fire and a huge lake... but that's ain't going to happen in Crawley!  Just a space that no-one else went to, is all mine and I could go to whenever I wanted to.  I suppose I could hop in my car and drive off to somewhere remote and sit with the iPod playing and just write.  But where do you find remoteness in built up large town/city areas?  

Anyway, I'm so far off completing any of my projects that I'm feeling a little like I'm losing the race before it's begun.  but i want this so badly, I want it more than anything.  For the first time in my entire life I know what I want to be when I grow up!   I also need to start thinking about home study courses, do I go for short courses or an open degree?  Are university degrees really the be all and end all?  

Last night watching the movie it made me realise how much I want to be living somewhere hot, preferably in the US or the Caribbean, with my own private jetty and a jet ski.  It doesn't need to be anything fancy, a little wooden shack will do...  but for me to be able to get a US visa is about as easy as getting the Queen to have tea!  Why do the US make it so hard for people from the UK to move there permanently?  We aren't even eligible for the greencard lottery!  I do miss living there sometimes, and whilst I love my little house here I think Fraser and I would like to move back one day, but can't see a way to do it at the moment.  If I did become a freelance writer, either journalism or short stories, then I could work from anywhere in the world and have that freedom I'm craving.

Perhaps it's all just a pipe dream or perhaps I've got ideas above my station...